despite these hands
[opening lotus buds]
drenched in impurities.
6:30 am. Awake, present, and unable to comprehend the day. I was going to be thrown into that ugly world that made my value depreciate only a year ago; I was going to school.
I doused myself in carelessness and reminders that this was a new year. This social hellhole would no longer be the creator of distance and alienation, but rather warm embrace and acceptance. It was my mission statement, my new philosophy to live by.
I felt very unpretty today. And perhaps it was because I generally was. My hair was unbrushed, small braids and my wild hippie waves framing my face around the collection in the back. I wore a black tee shirt, faded jeans. Ass kicking boots with purple shoe-laces. [A personal touch.] What I thought would be a wonderful cocoon actually warped into a world of insecurity. Oh lassitude. I survived and learned my lesson.
I was meshing well with Alana and Mallory, found comfort in their presence. There we were with our multi-coloured/strange/unique hair[styles] and black band tee shirts. Peas in a pod; I felt comfortable when I had their company.
But alone I was confident. Perhaps it's because I'm on top this year; There are many younger generations to watch grow and assist, help. I'm not the lower half of the food chain and I'm not on display to be torn apart and digested; I've got the respect!
But we got out at 10 this morning, so I can't say I've had the full course meal. (Just a little taste.) Tomorrow will definitely be more of a clue as to how my philosophy will work.